Our Excuse is that We're Young
by ProbablySatan
Summary: Konoha 12 and holidays don't go well together. There's always alcohol and someone almost always ends up naked. But what are holidays without friends? It sure isn't a good time! Drabbles about rookie 9 on the holidays. Includes: drinks, parties, fun, love.
1. We like to party

**A/N: Sooo New fanfic(:**

**This will probably have six or seven parts depending on which holidays I choose to do. Each part should consist of 2-4 chapters.**

**Also, there are no particular pairings but if you want a specific pairing don't be afraid to tell me. I don't know if I'll put it in here (depending if it's a crack pairing or not bc with some crack pairings I have the tendency to make certain characters OOC (no me gusta.)) And please remember that these are just big drabbles. XD**

**I really don't know why I started with Halloween but whatever.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Naruto: Storm does not own me, Sasuke, Deidara, Itachi, Kakashi, Sasori, Hidan, Kiba, or any other guy that she fangirls over in Naruto.  
>Sakura: She also doesn't own anything else.<br>Storm:I am not a fangirl!**

**Sakura: LIES.**

**(If you're still reading this I have no idea why, get on with the story!)**

**Our excuse is that we're young**

**Part I:**** Halloween**

_We like to Party_

"Hey forehead wake up!"

Poke.

"Billboard brow!"

Poke. Poke. Poke.

"SAAAAAAKUUUUUURAAAAAAAA."

"Eh?"

Sakura woke and swung her iron-fists at the offending person. Ino barley dodged them and ran to the other side of the room with both hands raised in surrender.

"Pig?" Sakura asked curiously while rubbing her eyes. "How did you get in here...?"

"Window." Ino answered smugly (Sakura didn't know what there was to be smug about, Ino was a ninja after all...) "You know what today is?"

"Uh...Saturday?"

"It's Halloween!"

"That's all you wanted to tell me?" Sakura yelled as she threw a pillow at Ino's head. "I'm going back to sleep." With that Sakura buried her head under her blanket.

"Of course that's not all forehead!" Ino grinned triumphantly when she managed to yank the covers from Sakura's grip (that was quite an accomplishment Ino might add) and toss them to the floor. Sakura grumbled as she watch Ino open the curtains to her window and winced as the bright sunlight filtered into her room. "We're gonna have a party!"

"A party?" Sakura asked. "And where will this party take place?"

"Your house." Ino deadpanned.

"_What?"_

"Well ever since you moved out of your parents' house I imagined you have an amazing party here and your house is perfect! Besides...it'll be fun..."

"You're crazy." Sakura said, swinging her legs over the side of her bed. "And no! Absolutely not. Besides this is so last minute. You must have some other alternative reason behind this."

"But Sakuraaaa, I already started decorating! And also..." Ino stood in front of Sakura and grinned. "My reasons are as pure as my heart!"

Sakura's eye twitched, "Your reasons aren't pure at all then..." Sakura stood up and walked across her room, ready to start her day, Halloween or not. "Wait...you already started decorating my house?"

Ino nodded and watch Sakura walk out of her room and bound down the stairs. Once she reached the bottom she shouted, "Really Ino?"

Ino followed her to the living room. "Well I think I did a good job!" She replied, she picked up a shrunken head and hung it up my the bright orange fairy lights that adjoined the ceiling. "Of course I'm still not done, I have tons of decorations left, and I have to pick up the food and the cake I ordered, at least I brought our costumes..."

"Did you even tell anyone that you were trowing a party?" Sakura asked and knocked Ino out of her rant.

"Oh...um, that's why I woke you up so early. Go out and invite rookie 9! I'll be here preparing. It's only seven am we have lots of time!"

"You're insane..."

o _We like to Party_ o

Twenty minutes later Sakura found herself walking down the street in search of her friends. She'd (regrettably) left the care of her home with Ino. Sakura would rather not be there anyway since Ino was going on a decorating frenzy.

"Oi Sakura!" Naruto shouted, he'd spotted her from his place at the Ichiraku ramen bar. Amazing he had even looked up from his bowl of ramen...

Sakura walked up to him and noticed Sasuke sitting next to him. He looked rather bored and slightly annoyed.

"Hey Naruto, Hey Sasuke." Sakura smiled as she sat besides Sasuke.

"Hn."

"You guys know what today is?"

"Uh Saturday?"

"It's Halloween, dobe." Sasuke said to Naruto.

Naruto scowled and yelled, "I'm not a dobe, teme!"

"Naruto, shut up!" Sakura reached out and punched him in the jaw. Naruto promptly fell onto the floor muttering, "Gomen, Sakuraaaaa. Gomeeen."

"Hn."

"So anyway," Sakura continued as if nothing had happened. "Ino and I are throwing a party at my house tonight, so you guys are invited." Sakura grinned.

"I'll be there!" Naruto said enthusiastically as he sat back down and ordered another bowl of ramen to devourer.

"What about you Sasuke?" Sakura slided up next to him and fluttered her eyelashes with a smile.

"Hn."

"Was that a yes or no...?"

"Hn."

"Okay see you there!"

Sakura waved and left the little ramen stand with grin. At least she got two people to come...now she just had to find everyone else.

Sakura hurried on and finally found Choji and and Shikamaru walking towards Ino's house.

"Oh hey Sakura," Shikamaru said lazily, "Have you seen Ino?"

"Yep." Sakura said brightly, "She's at my house...decorating..."

"Um, for what?" Choji asked.

"She decided to throw a Halloween party at my house. You guys are invited of course.."

"How troublesome...Temari, Kankuro, and the Kazekage will be here later and I have to be at the greeting this afternoon. But I should be able to go." He shrugged.

"Oh!" Sakura grinned, "You can invite them too if you want," Sakura said, knowing that Shikamaru would want to be with Temari.

""Kay," Shikamaru yawned and began to walk away, "Seeya later then..."  
>"Oh wait!" Sakura jogged up to them. "Ino has a message for you. She said that both of you better go to my house and help her decorate or very bad things will happen to you. She also said something about knowing where both of your stashes are."<p>

Both boys shivered and Choji stuttered out, "We'll be there."

Shikamaru frowned and said "What a drag..."

They both turned (and rather quickly) walked towards the direction of Sakura's house.

Sakura knew what Choji's stash probably was (food) but she wasn't so sure about Shikamaru. Whenever she thought about what it might be she only came to one conclusion.

Maybe Shikamaru Nara was a closet pervert.

She shrugged and went on her way to find Hinata's team.

o _We Like to Party _o

"Ino!" Choji wailed. "What did we do to deserve this?" Ino had forced Choji up onto Sakura's roof so that he could put more fairy lights up there. That wasn't particularly the problem. The problem was that Ino had confiscated Choji's chips and all the other bags he had on him.

"Does this count as cruel and unusual punishment?" Shikamaru asked as Ino dropped a green monster mask on Shikamaru's head. He was temporarily blinded and promptly walked into the life sized zombie mannequin. He gave a start when he took off the mask and came face to face with the very realistic zombie. "Where the hell did you get this..?"

"Around, " Ino shrugged and carried a pumpkin out and sat it on the doorstep. "I'm about to go to the store to pick up the food. When you go greet Suna can you bring the cake on your way back?" Ino asked Shikamaru.

"What a drag...I have to go greet them now...I'll be back with the cake later. Have fun Choji." Shikamaru grinned at him and Choji visibly deflated.

"Some friend you are," Choji muttered.

"Oh, Shika," Ino said. "Tell Temari that her and her brothers are free to come over too."

"Yeah Sakura told me," Shikamaru said, "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye!" Ino said, then she turned to Choji, "Now this is what you need to do while I'm gone..."

o _We Like to Party _o

Ino stopped at a market near Sakura's house and looked at the long list of food and drinks she had. She knew she needed a lot of food because the boys ate a lot. At least she had enough money to cover it all, she'd dipped in Sakura's 'food box' a bit but it was all for a good cause. Kinda.

Ino picked up some onigiri, wasabi, roasted fish, barbecue pork, ramen, and miso soup. The only problem was, once Ino purchased all the food she realized she had no idea how to carry it all back to Sakura's place.

"I-Ino!"

Ino looked up upon hearing the soft voice of Hinata calling out to her. "Oh Hinata, you're just the person I needed to see!" She smiled.

"Really?" Hinata asked, she came up to stop in front of Ino. Akamaru bounded towards her and nudged her legs, Hinata patted his head calmly. "What about?"

"Oh Sakura and I-"

"Yo!" Kiba yelled as he and Shino walked toward the two girls and stood beside Hinata. "Whats up?"

"-As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," Ino grumbled irritably, "Sakura and I are inviting you three to a Halloween party today!"

Hinata grinned, her eyes brightened, "T-that sound l-like so fun Ino! We'll be there." She nodded at Kiba and Shino and then looked down. "Oh B-but I don't have a costume..."

"Oh that's fine!" Ino said reassuringly. "I have extras from over the years you can borrow, you can come over and get them now. Kiba and Shino will have to fend for themselves though..."

"Ano...t-thanks so much Ino!" Hinata smiled at her. "Ano...do you need any help with those b-bags?" Hinata asked concerned, Ino had at least ten bags to carry.

"Oh yeah, thanks." Ino said and handed her a couple large paper bags. "We'll be going now, see you guys later!" Ino waved to Kiba and Shino.

"B-bye guys!" Hinata said softly, "H-hurry and see if you can f-find a nice costume before the party starts."

o _We like to party _o

"Sakura! My beautiful flower of youth has arrived!"

"Can it Lee!" Sakura yelled as she punched him in the jaw.

Neji seemed to nod in approval as his teammate went soaring across the training field.

"Lee you're such an idiot." Tenten stated while twirling a kunai around her fingers. She turned to Sakura and smiled, "So what's up?"

"Yes! What does the beautiful flower want to share with us this fine day? Will it be more insightful words for my youthful ears?"

"Oh well...Ino and I are throwing a Halloween party and were wondering if you three would like to come."

"Isn't it a little short noticed?" Neji muttered.

"Yea. That's Ino for you. It was more of a spur of the moment type thing..."

"We'll be there," Tenten decided. "It'll be fun. Neji is waaay too boring for his age."

Neji grumbled something incoherent under his breath and Lee threw his fists in the air with fire in his eyes and insightful stories of youthfulness came pouring out of his mouth.

Sakura grinned at them and turned towards the direction of her house. Everything was set in motion. The party would be a blast. It shouldn't get too out of control...the only way that would happen would be if alcohol was involved.

_Oh who am I kidding?_ Sakura thought with a sigh.

Alcohol was almost _always_ involved.

o _We like to party_ o

**A/N:**

**Not much humor in this chapter but I had to set the whole thing up. I'm thinking that part one will be at least three chapters long including this one.**

**I was going to use honorifics but I get really inconsistent with those throughout chapters so I just decided to go with names. (It's easier)**

**And did you guys notice that I couldn't think of a better chapter title? Plus I had that stupid Rebecca Back song stuck in my head.**

_We We We, We so excited._

**Yeah so that kinda mixed with partying so whatever.**

**God I babble a lot...**

**Reviews are love.**

**3**

**(You also may get a virtual cookie if you review. Yum.)**


	2. Trick or Treaters from Hell

**Disclaimer:****  
>Sasuke: Storm does not own me.<br>Ino & Sakura: Of course she doesn't. You're mine!  
>Storm: Well what can I own then? *whines*<br>Ino: The plot of this story.  
>Storm: how boring -_-<br>Sakura: It's your story...**

**Our Excuse is that We're Young**

**Part 1:**** Halloween**

_Trick or Treaters from Hell_

"Welcome back!" Ino called to Sakura cheerily as she neared her house.

"I can't believe you're welcoming me to my own house." Sakura shook her head and stepped inside her house.

Ino hadn't held back on the decorating. The whole place glowed orange and you couldn't go two feet without being terrified by a realistic mask or life-sized monster.

"Come on forehead, everyone is coming in an hour and we have to change into our costumes."

"Oh, what am I?"

"A witch."

"You only chose that because it rhymes with bitch!" Sakura yelled.

"Your words not mine!" Ino shrieked as Sakura chased her around the house.

"Oh Hello S-Sakura!" Hinata said, poking her head out of the kitchen. "I was just making sure the food stays warm."

"Hinata!" Sakura engulfed her friend in a hug. "How are you?"

"G-good." Hinata smiled, "I'm just so excited for the party!"

"Yeah yeah we know, let's just go get our costumes," Ino said hurriedly. She shoved the two girls upstairs and handed each of them a black garment bag. "Hurry and change!" She said and rushed into the bathroom.

Five minutes later the three girls were all changed. Ino was dressed as a devil with little red horns coming from her mass of blond hair (which she left down) She wore a short red dress and held a red trident.

Sakura came out next in her black, green, and purple witch dress. A tall black pointed rested on top of her pink head.

But Hinata had yet to come out of th guest room.

"Oh Hinata..." Ino sang. She knocked on the door. "Are you okay in there?"

"Ano..I-Ino." Hinata opened the door. "D-don't you think this skirt is kinda s-short?"

Sakura wolf-whistled jokingly, "Whoa Hinata you look hot!"

Hinata's face turned ten shades of red, "Ano demo...S-S-S-Sakura..."

Hinata was dressed as a black cat thanks to Ino. She had black ears on the top of her head and a tail spouting from her skirt. Her skirt, which was too short for comfort! Hinata also found her self trying to pull the back shirt up because of the plunging V-neck.

"No no no, Hinata you look fine!" Ino reassured her as she added whiskers to Hinata's face.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Hinata turned red again, she squeaked and ran back into the guest room.

"She's a bit dramatic." Ino commented as she and Sakura went to answer the door.

"Well the skirt _was_ rather short." Sakura snickered as she opened the door. "Hello?" She asked when she saw no one there.

"Down here lady!"

Sakura looked down to see two kids holding orange bags bags out. "Trick or treat!" They chorused.

"Oh!" Sakura said, comprehension crossing her face. "INO! Did you buy candy for the trick or treaters?"

Ino stared at her the from across the room, her mouth forming and 'O'. "So that's what I forgot..." Ino shrugged and continued to apply her make up, "Doesn't matter, kids don't need candy anyway."

"Sorry kids...the devil over there forgot your candy...would you like an apple?"

"Heck no!" The little princess scowled. "You guys suck!" She stuck her tongue out and stomped away.

The ghost followed her away but not before turning and saying, "You'll regret this."

"Little brats!" Sakura scowled as she slammed the door. "The little ghost threatened me!"

Ino shrugged, "They'll get over it.

_Ding-dong_.

Sakura growled and yanked the door open, expecting more trick or treaters she yelled, "WHAT?"

"Uh, I just came to party."

"Temari? Sorry I thought you were-oh never mind come in."

Temari was dressed as an angel, wings and halo included. Sakura wondered where she found that costume on such short notice.

"Oh Ino baby, you're lookin' devious!" Temari laughed as she and Ino high-fived.

"You don't look to bad either, witch." Temari said as she engulfed the pink haired girl in a hug.

"Oi, where's my hug?" Kankuro came in with a sullen looking Gaara in tow.

All three girls rolled their eyes at Kankuro (who wasn't wearing a costume by the way.)

"I had to force Gaara to come," Temari whispered. "And he refused to wear a costume, but I had somehow managed force my extra halo onto his head..."

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

"NARUTO YOU BAKA, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DAMN LOUD?" Sakura punched him in the shoulder with a growl.

"Ow. But-but Sakura..." Naruto had fallen to the floor clutching his fox ears...(How ironic, no?)

"Be quiet, dobe."

"Sasuke you came!" Ino and Sakura chorused, both girls stepped over a complaining Naruto(who was dramatically wailing on the floor by the way) and to Sasuke.

"Shut _up_, billboard-brow the party was _my_ idea."

"So what pig? It's _my_ house."

While the two were arguing Sasuke had slipped past them and went to stand in a corner with a scowl. (Much like Gaara was doing in the other corner.)

"Guess who brought sake?" Kiba came and barged in dressed as a werewolf and howled dramatically. He walked through Sakura's house and placed the bottles of Sake in her refrigerator.

Sakura smacked her forehead. She _knew _someone would bring sake.

Shino walked in slowly after Kiba came in, he was dressed in dark clothes, a large black hat, but he still wore his glasses. Sakura wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to be but she shrugged and figured that it was no big deal.

"Where's Hinata?" Shino asked curiously.

"Oh she's upstairs hiding." Ino said cheerfully as she fiddled with Sakura's stereo system. "It seems she didn't like the costume I gave her." Ino snickered.

"Hinata!" Sakura yelled up the stairs "Come downstairs!"

"F-Fine!" Hinata yelled back. Sakura heard her walk down the stairs and to the staircase. Hinata slowly made her way down the stairs, self-consciously tugging her skirt down.

"Whoa Hinata!" Naruto looked up and stared at her with his mouth wide open. Trickles of blood could be seen coming out of his nose.

Kiba poked his head out the kitchen only to get a nose-bleed, "Gaaah Hina...so kawaii..."

Even Sasuke could be seen staring at her. Ino and Sakura noticed this and quickly became infuriated.

"I told you her skirt was too short." Sakura grumbled.

"Hey kitten, why don't you crawl over here?"

"Kankuro, you're such a perve!" Temari shouted stomping on his foot.

"HINATA HYUGA. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?"

"N-N-Neji-niisan?" Hinata stuttered. Hinata turned an even darker shade of red and suddenly passed out.

Neji, who happened to be very protective of the Hyuga heiress rounded on Ino, "Why are you dressing my cousin in degrading costumes?"

"Hm...How did Tenten get you to dress up as a vampire? You're so stubborn, I wonder..." Ino said distractedly.

"Trust me Ino, it was hard work." Tenten winked at her.

Ino looked over Tenten who was also dressed as a vampire. "Oh so you two came as a couple..." Ino wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"That's not the point!" Neji growled.

"Hey, Hinata's awake!" Naruto shouted, he was leaning over Hinata with a grin.

"Personal space Naruto. Learn it." Sakura muttered.

"Get away from my cousin!" Neji growled, forgetting his conversation with Ino and rushing to his cousin's side.

"SAKURA! My youthful flower..." Lee came forward, searching for Sakura who had hidden from him.

"Everyone make sure to hide the sake from Lee," Shikamaru said coming through the open door. He was dressed as a pirate. He came in and lazily sat down on the couch next to Temari.

Choji came in after. Oddly enough he was dressed in a chicken suit... Sakura said hello to him and watched him walk towards the kitchen.

"Great now that everyone's here-"

_Ding-dong._

"I'll get it!" Naruto jumped up from Hinata's side. (Hinata did not look very happy at all.) Kankuro happily took Naruto's place (Hinata looked like she would rather die and ran to hide in the corner with Sasuke (Who oddly looked slightly pleased.))

Naruto bounded to the door and swung it open with a grin, "Who's there?"

"You're supposed to ask that _before_ you open the door." Sakura commented dryly.

"Sakuraaaaaa," Naruto whined. "You're always criticizing me!"

"Trick or treat!"

Naruto directed his attention towards the kids in front of the door, his face twisted up in confusion, "What do you want?"

"Candy baka!"

"Baka, baka, baka, baka, BAKA!"

"Sakura!" Naruto whined once again. "These kids are calling me names!"

"We don't have any candy brats," Ino said, coming up to the door and glowering down at the kids.

"Y-You don't have to be so mean, Ino!" Hinata yelled, "O-offer them s-some onigiri or something..."

"Hinata, honestly you're too nice. I used Sakura's money to buy that anyway, ask her."

"What?" Sakura yelled.

"WE WANT CANDY NOT ONIGIRI!"

"Too bad brats!" With that, Ino slammed the door.

o _Tick or Treaters from Hell_ o

"Okay here's the deal guys," The little girl dressed as a princess said. "House number four refuses to cough up the candy. That is an insult to every kid in this neighborhood!"

"Yeah!" The rest of the young trick or treaters chorused.

"We have to take a stand against this blasphemy and get our candy! Are you with me?"

"Yeah!" they chorused again.

"Mai will come up and explain the gravity of the situation." The princess stepped down as the little witch stepped up.

"House number four is full of teenagers. We hate teenagers!They're annoying and selfish. These said teenagers are partying...but not for long..."

"Yeah!"

"We're targeting all of them who are keeping the candy for themselves...As shinobi in training we must consider this a mission! And we must not fail missions!"

"Yeah!"

"So here's what we're gonna do..."

o _Tick or Treaters from Hell_ o

"At least nobody's drunk yet..." Sakura sighed as she sat down heavily on the couch next to Temari and Shikamaru. She was literally right between them.

"Cockblocking at it's finest..." Shikamaru muttered as he got up to get a drink. He needed one.

Temari glared at her. Sakura looked back and forth between her and Shikamaru and smiled sheepishly, "Were you two...sorry." She grinned innocently.

"You knew exactly what you were doing, pinky." Temari said with a small smile.

"Hey Sakura!" Kiba said coming out of the dining room. "Is this yours?" He held up a little kid dressed as a pirate.

"How did you get in here...?" Sakura asked as she took the child from Kiba and took him outside.

"Through the window duh..." The kid said. "Now let me go, I have candy to collect.

"Whaaaat?" Sakura said, confused. "Where's your mom? Why were you in my house?"

"Nonya."

"Huh?"

"Non of ya business!" With that the brat ran off.

"That was weird..." Choji commented while stuffing his face with sushi.

Sakura nodded she looked up at her now-trashed house and watched Hinata shriek and run across the room because Kankuro was chasing her.

Why was he invited again?

o _Tick or Treaters from Hell_ o

Mai stood in front of the mass of trick-or-treaters once again and said "Haru has failed us all! He was supposed to confiscate the candy and was caught."

"I'm sorry!" Haru cried. "This giant guy came in and and saw me."

"Well there's only one thing we can do." Mai said.

"What's that captain?"

"We all must infiltrated house number four!"

o_ Tick or Treaters from Hell_ o

"Um Sakura."

"Go away."

"Buuut Sakura..."

"Naruto!"

"Sakura there are eight year olds crawling through your window downstairs."

"Have you started drinking already, Naruto?"

Suddenly a battle cry was heard along with a crash. Then Choji's voice rang through the halls "MAN DOWN."

"W-what is going on?" Hinata asked as she walked into the kitchen. "Where did all of these kids come from."

"ATTACK."

A piercing scream echoed through the house and everyone was put on high alert.

"Y-Y-YOU BABY PERVERTS!"

"Oh God," Ino said as she poked her head inside the kitchen with Sakura. "Looks like someone lifted Hinata's skirt."

"Yeah," Sakura said dryly when she noticed Naruto and Kankuro in the corner with bloody noses.

"I bet you that in less than five seconds Neji will barge in all, 'Grrr grrr grrr my cousin's innocence, grr grr.'" Tenten said with a grin as she stood next to the other two girls.

"That's not even a fair bet," Ino muttered.

"Five...four...three-"

"What the hell did you do to Hinata?"

"Told ya."

"I think Hinata passed out again."

"Most likely," Sakura agreed.

"Whoa these kids are coming out of nowhere!" Choji growled as he got back up from the floor.

Sakura growled as she stood up, "Where the hell are you brats coming from?"

"Window," One brat said.

"What do you want?" Ino asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"CANDY!"

"We don't have any." Neji said. "We never did."

"LIARS."

Suddenly an egg went flying past Sakura's head. Her eye twitched and everybody shrunk back as a sadistic smirk crossed her features, "Who threw that?"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAW." Suddenly a freak with a green mask game running into the kitchen. He managed to make all of the kids scream and run out of the front door.

"Thank God..." Temari muttered.

Rock Lee took off the green mask. "What has happened? I heard more youthful voices coming from this room..."

Hinata woke up again and stumbled over to the refrigerator. Everyone watched her curiously as she opened the door and muttered, "I-I think I need a d-drink."

"You're not the only one." Sakura gave in and took out another bottle sake.

"Yeah!Drinks all around!" Naruto yelled.

o Tick or Treaters from Hell o

**A/N: hehehe I love this chapter but I think I'll like the next one more.**

**I hope you enjoyed(:**

**Please please review!**


	3. Alcohol is very very very bad

**Disclaimer:  
><strong>**Deidara: Storm does not own-  
>Storm: I know, I know. I do not own Naruto<br>Deidara: Can I blow you up now?  
>Storm: But...But...you're supposed to love me!<br>Deidara: Such a fangirl...**

**Our excuse is that We're Young**

**Part 1:** **Halloween**

_Alcohol is very very _very _bad._**  
><strong>

It was almost twelve a.m. and everyone was almost completely wasted.

Here is a summary of events that took place in the last few hours:

Lee had gotten drunk first and started chopping Sakura's tables in half. He'd also managed to punch Kankuro in the face before being restrained by Neji and Kiba. Shino had gone home early claiming that he was far too sane for all of the commotion in Sakura's household. Hinata had been violated several times and had somehow acquired a large katana for self defense. (They suspect she stole it from Sasuke but they still can't figure out how _that_ could have possibly happened.) Choji had eaten himself into a food-coma and happened have to just woken up. Temari and Shikamaru had disappeared at ten and then reappeared an hour later with rather...disheveled appearances. Ino had been seducing Kiba (for whatever reason, Sakura suspected it was because Ino wanted a puppy or something that no longer made logical sense.) Sakura had been trying to get Sasuke to dance with her for the past hour. Naruto ended up eating all the ramen Ino had bought and ended up getting beat up over it. Kankuro was unconscious because he kept trying to make out with Hinata and Neji got fed up and ended up hitting him on the side of his head with the wooden handle of a broom stick. (Kankuro got beat up a lot that night.) Tenten was only slightly tipsy and was trying to get (a completely wasted, mind you) Lee to stop trying to take his clothes off. Sasuke had been seen drinking but wasn't drunk in the least and Gaara remained in the corner, perfectly sober and probably recording the whole thing for blackmail later.

Now they were all (all meaning everyone who wasn't unconscious or sane) crowded around Sakura's table getting ready to participate in a drinking contest.

Somehow, Hinata had managed to get Sasuke to join and Kiba brought out the drinks.

After fifteen minutes Neji and Sasuke were both drunk. Everyone thought that was weird since they thought those two could hold their liquor the best.

"Hn." Sasuke said. (Though he didn't really say it did he? It was more like a hum.)

"Hn." Neji replied.

Everyone was starring at them by that point.

"Hn."

"Hn, hn, hn. Hnnnnnn. Hn hn."

"Hn."

"Hn. Hn"

"Are Neji and Sasuke having a conversation in 'hn' language?" Shikamaru asked.

"Looks like it," Temari sweat dropped. "This is ridiculous."

The third person to completely loose their marbles was Sakura who had started to dance on the table. She grinned and kicked her shoe off. It hit the unconscious Kankuro in the head. (He may need a doctor.)

Ino soon took after Sakura and began to hug everyone in the room. When Choji tried to escape her grip she began to cry.

"CHOJI. Why don't you love me anymore? I love you. Never mind! No I don't anymore. SHIKA!"

Shikamaru hid behind Temari. He ran around Sakura's house about three times and it was discovered that Shikamaru was the hyper-drunk. How ironic

A very sober Gaara reasoned that Sasuke and Neji were the calm but crazy drunks, Sakura was the spontaneous drunk, Ino was the clingy drunk, and Shikamaru was the hyper drunk.

Naruto stumbled over to Sasuke. "Hey teme..." he slurred.

"Eh?"

"I finally get your costume!"

"He's not wearing a costume." Hinata pointed out. She was surprisingly not as drunk as the rest of them, but you could tell the alcohol was in her system because her stutter was gone.

"What are you trying to say Hyuga?" Sasuke growled. "I'm not good enough for you?"

"Er what?"

"You're costume is Sasuke Uchiha hahaha!" Naruto laughed and waved his arms in the air. "Hey guys! Sasuke's costume is Sasuke!"

There was a collection of 'Ooooooohs' from the shinobi scattered around the room.

Sasuke poked Naruto in the stomach and smiled. (A sure sign of intoxication. Naruto was probably scarred for life by that smile.) "I see what you did theeere..."

"Hey Hinaaaata!" Sasuke called as he stumbled around the room.

"Eh?" Hinata asked with a bottle in hand.

"You have nice lips.."

"Tehehehe, you're funny Sasuke-kun..."

Kankuro had yet to wake up (he better not be dead...) and Temari stepped over him with an amused smile. She walked over to Gaara and grinned.

"Gaara, Gaara, Gaara, Gaara." Temari poked him, "Have some Sake."

"No."

"Oh. Gaara, Gaara, Gaara, Gaara, Gaara, Gaara, Kazekage, Kazekage, Kazekage, Kazekage, Kazekage, bro, bro, bro, bro, Gaara, Gaara..."

"What?"

"...Have some sake..."

"I will murder you in your sleep."

"Hahaha sounds fun..."

"You're drunk."

"And you're Gaara."

"EL-OH-EL. Good one Temari!" Shikamaru was suddenly at her side with a thumbs up.

Yelling was suddenly heard throughout the whole house, "LET'S GO STREAKING!"

"FUCK YEAH KIBA!" Naruto yelled back.

"I'm in!" Choji agreed.

o_ Alcohol is very very _very _bad_ o

Three drunk naked boys stood in the middle of Konoha. Three drunk naked boys started to run and scream loudly through Konoha. Three drunk naked boys turned into 52, drunk naked boys when Naruto yelled;

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

And with that, all hell broke loose.

49 Naruto clones, one real Naruto, Kiba and Choji went running stark naked through Konoha. What a site to see.

In fact, several people _had_ seen them. Including Kurenai and Kakashi who _had_ been peacefully enjoying their cups of sake at a bar.

"Did I just see what I think I saw?" Kurenai asked abruptly. She placed her cup down and looked behind her.

Kakashi didn't look up from his book, "Just ignore them. Trust me, it'll be better for your mental health..."

Then stark-naked Kiba ran by shouting, "HEEEY KURENAI-SENSEI!"

Kurenai twitched, "They're drunk, aren't they?"

Kakashi nodded, slightly amused, "Of course they are."

Then Kakashi chocked because 50 naked Narutos ran by him once again.

o_ Alcohol is very very _very _bad_ o

"Hey girls! Let's play I have never!" Ino suggested.

"Yeaah!" Sakura agreed with a giggle.

The five kunoichi crowded around the coffee table (That had been chopped in half by Lee...)

"I'll start!" Temari volunteered. "I have never...uh...flashed anyone."

"LIES!" Ino shouted and then took a shot.

"I'll go..." Tenten said, "I have never...kissed a girl."

Ino and Temari both took a shot.

Sakura went next, "I have never...kissed Sasuke."

Only Hinata took a shot.

"HINATA?" Ino and Sakura yelled.

Hinata yawned at them and said, "Calm yo tits, sluts."

"EH?"

Temari giggled hysterically, "Looks like Hinata's the bitchy drunk..."

After one more round all five girls fell out.

o_ Alcohol is very very _very _bad_ o

Choji, Naruto, and Kiba stumbled back towards Sakura's house with rather blank expressions on their faces.

"Duuudes. That was gay." Kiba said.

"EL-OH-EL!" Someone yelled from inside.

All three shinobi somehow managed to put their clothes back on before collapsing. Choji actually collapsed in the bushes, the other two actually made it inside...

o_ Alcohol is very very _very _bad_ o

"...And then this one time I called Itachi weasel and he hit me in the head! And he's really just a bit douche bag! I mean who does that-"

"El-OH-EL." Shikamaru yelled. This was getting rather weird. Drunk shinobi were no-joke.

"Shut up dude, I'm talking." Sasuke glared. "So then he goes all insane and shit and kills everyone! He's such a little bitch! So now I have to kill him for being a little bitch you know?"

"Yeah man, get money fuck bitches."

"Whaaat?"

"Pass me a lighter."

"Pass me the sake!"

Both boys ended up passing out ten minutes later.

o_ Alcohol is very very _very _bad_ o

Suddenly a loud noise woke up everyone sleeping heavily in Sakura's living room. They all groaned and covered their ears.

Tsunade slammed her fists down on the table again (poor Sakura, all her furniture was getting broken.) "So this is where my finest shinobi have been all of last night and this morning? DRUNK AND PASSED OUT?"

"Oi! Grandma Tsunade...can you keep it down?" Naruto grumbled, clutching his head. "We're all so hung over..." He whined.

"I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO WHINE ABOUT!"

Everyone in the room moaned and clutched their heads again.

"Oh suck it up you babies..."

A few of them had the nerve to glare at her. When Tsunade looked them all over she burst into loud obnoxious laughter.

"What's funny...?" Kiba whined with a wince.

"All of you have mustaches drawn on your faces..."

"It had to be someone sober..." Shikamaru muttered and winced when Ino and Sakura let out outraged shrieks.

"But...but...the only sober one was...Gaara..." Tenten muttered, rubbing her face.

Twenty three heads turned to stare a Gaara who happened to have a permanent marker in hand and a smirk on his lips.

o_ Alcohol is very very _very _bad_ o

**End of part I**

**A/N:**

**HEHEHE**

**and yes characters were OOC because they were **_**drunk**_**.**

**I enjoyed writing this.**

**Well I'm off to sleep, it was 5 am when I wrote this.**


	4. Shinobi Can't Cook

**A/N: Hi there(:**

**First off, do any of you know any good Akatsuki humor fics? I looked up some but I kept finding those damn fics where they're all cats. I honestly don't understand why they're so many fics like that...**

**Anyway, sorry for the wait. **

**Disclaimer:****  
>Hinata: S-Storm doesn't own N-Naruto.<br>Storm: True! But I bet **_**you**_** wish you do!  
>Hinata: *Blushes* Ano...<br>Storm: Awww Hinata is so kawaii :3**

**Our Excuse is that We're Young**

**Part II:**** Thanksgiving  
><strong>_Shinobi can't cook._

"Please Niisan?"

"No Hinata."

"B-but father went on 'vacation' or something- it'll be fine!"

"Yeah, please Neji?" Hanabi joined in with Hinata's pleading with out knowing what Hinata was pleading for.

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"Remember the last time rookie 9 was gathered? Everyone got drunk."

"In-including you niisan..."

"Whoa! Neji got drunk?" Hanabi snorted with laughter. "What did he do?"

Hinata and Neji exchanged amused glances, "Nobody remembers..."

"Anyway! Why can't we? I just want to have a feast with my friends!"

"Fine."

"_Please-_w-wait did you just say yes?" Hinata's mouth dropped in shock.

"As long as you make dumplings and there's no sake." Neji said strictly.

"Yeah! Party!"

"It's not a party, Hanabi." Neji muttered.

"So...who wants to help me cook?"

_o Shinobi Can't cook o_

"What could you possibly need a whole onion for?" Neji asked irritably as he looked over the list of ingredients Hinata had handed to him.

He obviously didn't spend a lot of time in the kitchen.

Hinata rolled her eyes at him, "Just don't worry about it."

"HINAATAAA! IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE BUBBLING LIKE THIS?"

Hinata shooed Neji out of the kitchen and went over to Kiba (who she made help, by the way.) He was by the stove, starring at a pot of boiling water with a confused expression on his face.

"Yes baka." Shino hit him on the side of the head and continued to chop vegetables.

Hinata gently pushed Kiba out the way and began putting things in the pot. She didn't look up when she said, "Kiba- go make the dumplings."

"But I don't know how..."

"Oh God Hinata, why did you get that idiot to help you?"

"Sakura!" Hinata hugged her pink haired friend gratefully. "I'm so glad you came to help. It would've been a disaster if you hadn't showed up."

Sakura patted her friend on her head reassuringly. "Don't worry, it'll be great now that I'm here. Unfortunately," Sakura pointed behind her, "I had to bring that baka with me."

"Hey Hinata!" Naruto peeked out from behind Sakura's shoulder. "You're gonna be ramen right?"

Hinata's face turned red, "O-of course, N-Naruto-kun!"

"Yeah! Hinata, you rock!"

…

…

…

"Why does she always faint whenever Naruto is around?"

_o Shinobi can't cook o_

"Neji! You can't buy that one!" Tenten knocked the apple from his hands and picked up another one.

Neji swatted her away with an annoyed look and said, "Why? What's wrong with it?"

Tenten rolled her eyes, "It's bruised."

"I couldn't tell the difference."

"Of course you couldn't," Tenten muttered as she snatched the grocery list from the Hyuga's hands. "Why did Hinata send you, of all people, shopping?"

Neji muttered something under his breath.

"What was that, hm?" Tenten asked as she put three onions in the basket.

"It's because I'm a branch member."

Uh-oh.

"Uh Neji- I'm sure that's not it-"

Neji was in one of those moods again.

"They're always expecting me to do things for them because I'm not from the _main_ house. Hinata forced me into throwing a thanksgiving dinner, guess who's gonna get busted for it when Hiashi-sama comes back. _QUESS!"_

Tenten backed away a few steps, "Um...Hinata?"

"NO! Me!"

There comes times in Neji's life when he gets overbearingly pissy and sensitive. Tenten has yet to find the cause for Neji's irrational 'moody days' but went she does she would sure as hell put a stop to them. Listening to Neji rant was torture in itself.

Tenten watched Neji pick up an onion and throw it at the ground, "And what the _fuck_ can you possibly use a whole onion for?"

He was obviously not in his right state of mind.

_o Shinobi can't cook o_

"EW. SHINO THERE ARE BUGS ON THE VEGATABLES." Naruto screamed. (Yes he screamed.)

"That's bad?"

"DUH!"

"You're hurting my feelings."

"Yo, did Hinata wake up yet?" Kiba asked from his place by the stove.

"No, she's still out cold," Sakura chuckled dryly as she continued to press a wet towel to her forehead.

"Akamaru...bad boy. Don't eat the shrimp...BAD." Kiba yelled suddenly.

"Wolf!"

"NO bad!"

_Crash!_

"IT BURNS!"

"Kiba, that water isn't even hot."

"It was for dramatic effect then..?" Kiba questioned.

Hinata was up minutes later only to see the mess on the floor, "What happened to the wasabi?"

Then Naruto walked in with a large bowl saying,"Oi Sakura, what do you want me to do with this sauce-Whoa!"

It all happened in slow motion, One minute Kiba was on the wet floor yelling at Shino (who's feelings were still hurt when Naruto insulted him and his bugs) Akamaru was chewing on a piece of shrimp with a his foot in a pot. Hinata had just woken up and Sakura was standing beside her.

Then Naruto slipped on the wet floor and the bowl full of sauce went flying towards Sakura, and you can guess what happened next. (How these two great shinobi managed to slip and _not_ catch the bowl is beyond me. Or maybe just because this is a complete crack-fic.)

Then there was silence.

The silence lagged on until Sakura let out some type of strangled yell/growl and then, "YOU GOT SAUCE IN MY HAIR!"

And Naruto, the baka he his, let out a chuckle while stuttering out his apology. "Gome...hehe...Sakura..."

Hinata did not feel obliged to help Naruto when Sakura lunged for his throat and proceeded to throttle him on the floor.

And then, for some strange unexplainable reason, Sasuke entered the kitchen. He 'hn'ed at Sakura and Naruto and went to stand beside them.

"SASUKE-KUN!"

Oh that did it. Sakura was off of Naruto before you could blink. She threw her arms around him and snuggled her head against his chest. Please remember, Sakura's head was completely covered in brown-dipping sauce because of the blond baka. (And I'm not talking about Ino.)

Once Sasuke finally pried Sakura off him he said, "I have a message from the Hokage," He sighed, "Tsunade warns you not to get drunk or punishment will be severe."

"And to think Kiba tried to smuggle sake in again..." Shino muttered.

"I've brought your damn groceries, Hinata. And this _damned_ onion." Neji and Tenten then walked into the room, both of them carrying three full bags.

"N-Neji?" Hinata looked confused at his attitude before her mouth formed and 'o' shape. Now she remembered what Neji was so worked up about. "Gomen Neji. I-I forgot about how sensitive you get at the word onion."

"DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!"

Everyone besides the two Hyuga looked confused and mildly disturbed.

"Er what?" Naruto managed say.

Suddenly Hanabi popped into the room, "...You see one day when Neji was-"

"HANABI." Neji clamped his hand over the young girls mouth and pushed her out of the room. She had appeared and left within seconds.

Tenten held an onion in front of his eyes, "Are you allergic...?"

"No." He crossed his arms.

"Oh no!" Hinata suddenly exclaimed.

"What?" Kiba asked as he (finally) got off the (still wet) floor.

"The oven blew out!"

"I bought a turkey for nothing?" Neji grumbled irritably.

"Our lucks sucks," Sakura grumbled as she stuck her head in side the oven.

Hinata gazed at the large turkey. "It was going to be good." She sighed.

"Back up."

"Eh?"

Hinata looked up at Sasuke who had suddenly appeared behind her. He started to do hands signs.

"Ano..." Hinata started.

"Fire style: FIREBALL JUTSU."

"Oh God." Tenten face-palmed.

The turkey suddenly went up in flames, smoke rose into the air and everyone started to cough.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how you cook a turkey." Kiba complained as he began opening windows.

"Well the oven didn't work so..."

"MY HAIR! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE." Naruto began to scream as he ran around the kitchen in horror.

"I have a jutsu for that..." Sasuke said and began to make the hand signs.

"We're okay, dude." Kiba said and stopped him from probably flooding Hinata's kitchen.

"CHAAA!" Sakura yelled as she dumped buckets of water on Naruto and the flaming turkey.

"Tenten, get that disgusting onion out of my face."

"Neji, what's wrong with onions? I don't understand..."

Sasuke observed the scene in front of him before turning to Hinata with a smirk. "...Sorry for setting your kitchen on fire."

"Uh...it's okay..."

"IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT OKAY."

Neji and Hinata's jaws dropped.

"Hiashi-sama?"

"F-father? I thought you were away on v-vacation..."

"I had to get back early. Would someone please explain to me why-"

Unfortunately for the Hyuga head, Naruto was still spazzing out about his hair, he happened to be throwing some type of tantrum (Yelling about how he would kill Sasuke) and right when he was making a mad-dash towards the raven haired Uchiha he jumped up and elbowed poor Hiashi in the forehead.

The guy was out cold_**.**_

"F-F-Father?" Hinata turned and unnatural shade of red.

"I've wanted to do that my whole life." Neji muttered, giving Naruto a pat on the back. He proceeded to move Hiashi into the closet. He sure hoped Ino good erase his memory or something when she stopped by.

"NARUTO YOU BAKA." Sakura yelled with a growl.

"S-S-Sakura? I'M SORRY. Please don't hurt me!" Naruto ran around the kitchen. "IT WAS ALL SASUKE'S FAULT."

"Sasuke is an angel..." Sakura said dreamily. -Insert image of Sasuke in white(wearing a 'wtf' look on his face) floating with wings and a halo here-

Sasuke looked rather amused as he rudely tripped Naruto and he face planted into a pie. Sakura did not take her time coming up to Naruto and violently shoving his face into the pie repeatedly.

Hinata was leaning on Tenten's shoulder muttering to herself. "They're all idiots...thanksgiving is ruined...oh Kami...they're idiots..."

And to make mattered worse Choji entered with his team and shouted.  
>"I AM READY TO CHOW DOWN!"<p>

Wait...who invited him?

_o Shinobi can't cook o_

**A/N:**

**Hello ^_^**

**I hope you all enjoyed(:**

**So**

**Why does Neji hate onions?**

**Will Hiashi ever wake up and totally pwn Naruto in an epic battle on the dinning room table?**

**-No probably not but we'll see.**

**And **

**Will Sasuke cause more havoc?**

**Will Hinata get fed up and kick all their asses?**

**FIND OUT CHAAAA~**

**(This fic is obviously taking a tole on my mental health bleeeh)**

**Anyway**

**REVIEW OR SASUKE WILL SET YOUR HAIR ON FIRE TOO.**


	5. Sasuke is not helpful At all

**Hola, lovely readers I come with another chapter full of crack, so enjoy.**

**Also I had this really weird dream where my mom was making food and then Neji shows up out of nowhere and is all, "Why are you putting lead in the food?" And then my mom is like "...what?"  
>Then I woke up the end.<strong>

**Disclaimer:****  
>Kakuzu: Storm doesn't own Naruto. Can we sell her now?<br>Storm: *crosses arms* No you cannot sell me! You're just mad because I didn't make an Akatsuki fic...  
>Kakuzu: I wouldn't be surprised if no one bought you...I think I'll eat your heart instead.<br>Storm: Ah...um sorry! *Runs away***

**Our excuse is that we're young**

**Part II:**** Thanksgiving**

_Sasuke is not helpful. At all._

There was a reason the jonin captains of each team kindly declined Hinata's offer of joining them for thanksgiving dinner.

Hinata was just realizing now why they had all passed.

These people were crazy.

They hadn't even set the food on the table and they were already arguing.

"SAKURA YOU BIMBOO OF COURSE YOU'RE FATTER THAN ME."

"NO PIG, I SAW YOU EYEING THAT PIE, YOU BITCH."

Hinata sweat dropped and forcefully shoved the two yelling kunoichi into their designated seats at her long dining room table. Hinata made sure that the two were as far apart as they could possibly be.

Shikamaru had fallen asleep at the table (he'd only been there five minutes...) Choji was sitting at the table with a fork and knife ready in each hand. Tenten and Naruto were setting the food down on the table (Including the very burnt turkey...) Neji was grimacing in his seat while reminiscing about the time he was pelted with onions by the girl he liked when he was five(so _thats _why he hates onions.) And Sasuke was sitting there silently watching the chaos unfold.

Hinata went to check on her father, who was still unconscious and in the closet. She put an icepack on his head before shutting the door quietly.

She finally settled her self down beside Kiba and Sakura and sighed.

"Let's say what we're thankful for!" Naruto yelled out.

There was a murmur of agreement.

Ino hit Shikamaru to wake him up and said, "Why don't you go first, Shika?"

"Whaaat?" He blinked confusedly.

"What are you thankful for?" Naruto repeated helpfully.

"Uh...what a drag...I'm thankful for...sleep?"

Ino glared at him.

"And um my teammates?" He said and as an afterthought he added, "Troublesome women..."

"WELL," Ino said dramatically, "I'm thankful for my team...my beauty," She flipped her hair, "My friends, oh and Sasuke-kun!" She then proceeded to run across the room and try to wrap her arms around him but on succeeded in knocking over the chair he had previously had been sitting in.

"I'm thankful for the food!" Choji bellowed, "So when can we eat...?"

"My turn!" Naruto yelled. "I'm thankful for ramen..."

"He really started with ramen?" Sakura muttered.

"...anyway," Naruto sent an agitated glance Sakura's way, "and I'm thankful for this food, and Sakura-chan!"

Sakura twitched.

"And Sakura-chan for putting the fire in my hair out...I'm not thankful for Sasuke-teme who set my hair on fire...he's a douche...I'm thankful for ramen...and Hinata-chan for inviting me!"

Sakura rolled her eyes at the mention of ramen-again, and Hinata's whole face turned red.

"I'm also thankful for Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei, and Granny Tsunade, and Konoha, and-and ramen! I'm thankful for the color orange and for-"

**5 minutes later**

"...And for that one time I hit my head and Sakura healed me and for my friends and for-"

"ENOUGH!" Sakura's fist crashed down on top of Naruto's skull and he fell out of his chair. Everyone winced but that needed to be done. The baka would've went on for hours.

"I'm thankful for Sakura knocking the idiot out," Kiba said.

"Hear hear!" Choji chorused

"Well I'm thankful for all of you," Sakura smiled sweetly then kicked Naruto who was attempting to get up. "And Hinata for preparing this meal and...for Sasuke-kun! HE LIKES ME MORE, INO."

"NO HE DOESN'T. You like me better, right Sasuke-_kun_?" Ino demanded while batting her eyelashes at him.

"...hn."

Ino turned to Sakura and grinned smugly, "I bet that means yes."

"You can't speak 'hn' language!" Sakura shouted, outraged. "Neji!" She turned to the now-cowering ninja. (Whoa Neji cowered?) "You speak 'hn' language. What did Sasuke _really _say?"

"Um...he says he prefers Hinata actually." Neji looked lightly agitated with the Uchiha.

"Oh..." Sakura said. "WAIT WHAT?"

Everyone turned to look at Hinata's who's entire face was red. She turned away from the smirking Uchiha and changed the subject, "Uh...Ano...I'm thankful for...ah um my friends...and N-Naruto and um my life and ah Sa-Sasuke...wait...ah,"

She promptly passed out.

Naruto and Sasuke happened to be scowling and glaring at each other from opposite sides of the table.

"Well I'm thankful for my team and my dog." Kiba said shortly while fanning the indigo haired kunoichi on the floor.

"I'm thankful for the ability to kill my brother and blood." Sasuke muttered.

-Insert dark Aura and creepy stuff around Sasuke-

Everyone moved away from him.

"AND I AM THANKFUL FOR MY YOUTHFULLNESS, AND OF COURSE THE GREAT YOUTHFUL GAI-SENSEI!" Lee exclaimed suddenly from Neji's side.

"LEE!" Gai appeared out of nowhere. (His Lee senses were tingling, no?)

"GAI-SENSEI!

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

This continued before Neji kicked them out of the Hyuga compound, he came back and said, "I'm thankful for my teammates-except Lee, for Naruto knocking out Hiashi and- TENTEN PLEASE REFRAME FROM WAVING ONIONS IN MY FACE."

Tenten giggled and said, "I'm thankful for my team, Hinata for inviting me, and my parents." Her response was by far the most thoughtful statement that night.

"I'm thankful for the bugs." Shino said calmly, not paying attention to the mayhem brewing around him.

"Eh, that's nice Shino..." Tenten patted his shoulder.

"THERE ARE ANTS ON THE PIES!" Naruto suddenly shouted. "That is not okay."

"You're hurting my feelings again."

"Whatever." Ino said dismissively, "Pie is fattening anyway..."

"Ano..." Hinata began to sit up and blinked at everyone. "I guess we can eat now..."

"Fuck yeah!" Choji said while grabbing everything in sight. Including a burnt turkey.

"How many calories are in these dumplings?" Ino asked while starring at them.

Sakura snorted, "Trying to loose weight, pig?"

"Yeah, like you should be, forehead. Sasuke won't want a fatty like you!"

"She said the 'f' word..."Choji muttered.

"I wasn't talking to you though..." Ino said she blinked at him and then froze when a turkey leg was flung at her.

Ino let out a shriek and Shikamaru jerked awake again and glared at her, "What is...your problem?"

"You-YOU-" Ino flung a spoon full of miso soup the unsuspecting Sakura.

"GAH YOU BITCH." She reached down and grabbed a hang full of rice.

"YEAH FOOD FIGHT!" Naruto exclaimed while grabbing a had full of whatever was on the nearest plate.

Then everyone except Shikamaru (he was sleeping again), Shino (He made a bug shield or something creepy like that), Hinata (starring in shock), and Sasuke (annoyingly indifferent), were engaged in a food fight.

"YOU'RE GOIN DOWN KIBA!"

"INO YOU BITCH, I LIKED THIS SHIRT."

"NO! PLEASE, I WAS EATING THAT...I'M HUNGRY...!"

Poor Choji...

Neji looked like he'd rather be anywhere else but was quickly distracted when Tenten threw an onion at him and he curled up in a ball at the painful memories. (They weren't that painful but Neji was sensitive back then...)

Suddenly Sasuke flipped the long dinning table on it's side. Hinata looked at him and he shrugged, "Unless you want food in you hair you better duck."

Needless to say...she ducked.

"ARG MAN DOWN!" Kiba exclaimed as Naruto got him in the chest with miso soup and onigiri. Naruto let out maniacal laughed as he got his hands on other food Hinata took her time preparing.

"A-Are you going to d-do something about this?" Hinata asked weakly.

"Why should I? It's your house."

Sasuke was about as helpful as a well...he wasn't helpful at all.

It all was over for Hinata when a pie landed on top of her head. Sasuke watched with a smirk as she slowly stood up scowling.

"S-stop."

"Do you think they heard you?" Sasuke smirked.

"Ano..."

"Well?"

"Well why don't you do something to help!" Hinata exclaimed angrily as the juices from the pie ran down her face. Suddenly she climbed on top of the chair. "LISTEN UP IDIOTS!"

They continued without listening.

Hinata's eyes flashes as she reached and grabbed Naruto by his collar, stopping his action. "Ano...I said LISTEN UP YOU IDIOTS!"

Naruto was shocked into silence as well as the rest of them. Except Sasuke who seemed to be gleefully(everyone was creeped out) laughing to himself.

"I spent hours making this food to _eat_ not for you to throw it at each other like a bunch of rabid gorillas or something." Hinata cackled evilly as the others shrunk away. "Now I'm gonna kick all your asses and then your going to eat the food you wasted."

Naruto fainted, Sakura twitched, Ino teared up a bit, Kiba looked like he just shit his pants, Choji paled, and Tenten shivered.

"HINATA HYUGA! Who locked me in that closet and what is this mess?"

"Father...this really isn't a good time..."

Then Sasuke sprang up and drop-kicked the poor guy.

He was out cold again.

"S-Sasuke!" Hinata exclaimed, dropping Naruto's body and rushing to her father's side.

"I was trying to be helpful." Sasuke deadpanned.

"You thought _that_ was being helpful?"

"At least he's not so annoying now that he's unconscious."

Hinata sweat dropped.

_o Sasuke is not helpful. At all. o_

**End of Part II**

**A/N:**

**Phew! Two parts done *does happy dance***

**lol Hinata passes out in every chapter O_o**

**She was also pretty fucking ooc here lmao. FORGIVE ME I COULDNT RESIST BADASS HINA.**

**Also, some people want a naruhina pairing and some people want Sasuhina. I personally like both so I'll make it work...-insert evil cackling here- MUAHAHAHA.**

**On another note(why yus I am rambling)**

**Christmas is the next holiday, no, they are not going to get drunk until New Years.**

**I also have the issue of:**

**The Akatsuki appearing in my disclaimers- and they always end up threatening me T_T**

**and lastly,**

**REVIEW OR HINATA WILL UNLESH HER HIDDN RAGE ON YOU AND KICK YOUR ASS TO THE MOON AND BACK.**

**(While Sasuke watches amusedly.)**


	6. Avoid Shopping Kunoichi At All Times

**A/N: Er...hello? I haven't died...?**

**I have changed my user-name from Storm913 to Tsuki no Talia, just so you guys know.**

**Disclaimer:****  
>Sasori: I'm sure your fans are tired of waiting for this chapter so let's make it quick. <strong>_**Talia does not own Naruto.**_**  
>Talia: You're not gonna threaten to turn me into a puppet? Or threaten me at all like the other Akatsuki did...? -grins and hugs him-<br>Sasori: -rudely pushes Talia away- No, why would I want to turn **_**you**_** into a puppet? You're useless.  
>Tobi: Tobi thinks Talia-chan just got rejected.<strong>

**Our Excuse is that We're Young**

**Part III:**** Christmas**

_Avoid rabid shopping kunoichi at all times._

It was official. Ino and Sakura were completely crazy. Who thought the idea of trudging through crowded malls on a cold winter day, four days before Christmas was _fun?_ And _why_ did they have to drag poor Tenten and Hinata along?

First the two had stormed into their houses, waken them up at ungodly hours, forced them into their clothes, and made them skip breakfast.

"But Ino..." Tenten whined, "I'm hungry, and I was supposed to meet Neji and Lee for training later..."

"They'll get over it!" Ino said cheerfully as the group of kunoichi walked out of Tenten's house.

"N-no, I'm sure Niisan won't..." Hinata supplied thoughtfully.

"Not helping, Hinata." Sakura commented then she got completely off subject when she said, "I wonder what I should get Sasuke..."

Tenten knew a headache was on it's way.

"I'm getting him a necklace with our names engraved!" Ino announced cheerfully.

Sakura made a face, "Like he would wear that!"

"Of course he would, Sasuke and I are in _love_."

Sakura scoffed and Hinata had taken to hiding behind Tenten to hide her giggles at the girls' argument.

"Well I know is that Sasuke _loves_ to avoid you."

"Sakura- you bitch!"  
>"He doesn't love to avoid Hinata," Tenten snickered to herself.<p>

"W-why are y-you bringing m-me into this?" Hinata hid her face in her scarf.

"By the way Hina-chan, we have to get you some new clothes..." Ino mentioned, completely forgetting the subject of Sasuke Uchiha.

Ino and Sakura had a really low attention span when it came to things that didn't involve them.

"W-what's wrong with the clothes I have now?"

"...everything!"

Before Hinata could stutter out a response Ino and Sakura violently pulled her and Tenten out of the winter cold and into a warm clothing store.

Let the torture begin.

_o Avoid rabid shopping kunoichi at all times o_

"And why...did you feel the need to bring me along?" Shikamaru drawled lazily as he walked down the street with three other shinobi his age.

"Well, I thought since you're all smart and stuff that you could help me get the right presents."

"..." Shikamaru sighed and shook his head.

"Why am I here?" Sasuke muttered coldly.

"Because you have a lot of money, teme!"

That left Kiba, who didn't know why the blond baka had dragged him along, he didn't really care about the reason that much though...

"So, what should I get Sakura?"

"A muzzle..." Sasuke muttered as Kiba gave a loud chuckle to Sasuke's response.

"Sasuke seriously!"

"I think he was being serious Naruto..." Shikamaru managed while shoving his hands into his pockets.

"What should I get my teammates?" Kiba pipped up suddenly, gazing into one of the stores they passed.

"Nothing," Sasuke supplied.

"Unlike you, Sasuke, I actually care enough to give them something."

"I know, I know, ramen!"

Everyone sweat dropped.

"Shino and Hinata don't even like ramen..."

"Hinata says she does all the time..."

"She was lying, dobe."

"But...why would she do that?"

They all shook their heads at him. Naruto was hopeless.

_o Avoid rabid shopping kunoichi at all times o_

There were several times in Tenten's life where she wished she had different friends. Not that the ones she had weren't awesome or anything. It was more like...they were _crazy_.

You wouldn't think that they were some of the best kunoichi in the Hidden Leaf. Actually people might laugh if you suggested that...

"But Tenten! It's Christmas!" Sakura yanked at Tenten's arm.

"Yes, but I'm not _five."_

"Come on young lady, sit on Santa's lap."

"What kinda perverted crap is that?"

"What do you want for Christmas, young lady?" 'Santa' patted his lap suggestively.

Ino crossed her arms and peered at 'Santa.' "OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Santa was sweating. "Er...I just am Santa...Claus...NEXT PERSON PLEASE."

"Choji, what the hell?"

"C-C-Choji?" Hinata exclaimed with a red face, having already been forced to sit on Santa's...er Choji's lap by the two forces of evil. (Ino and Sakura)

"I am not Choji...I'm Santa...and _you_ young lady are on the naughty list!" He waved his arms wildly, "Now don't come back!"

"Choji, you better tell me what you're doing. Now." Ino slowly advanced on her teammates.

"Er..."

_The next scene is omitted due to extreme violence._

And so, that was how Choji got dragged into something as horrible as accompanying Ino and Sakura on their shopping extravaganza.

Without his food.

Ino ignored the fact that there were several toddlers waiting in line to tell 'Santa' their wish-lists. The all started bawling when Ino snatched the beard from 'Santa's' face and dragged him away.

"Er, Choji, do I want to know why you're 'Santa?'" Sakura asked hesitantly as they continued walking towards the shopping district.

"I lost a bet..." He muttered sadly.

"Baka!" Ino suddenly yelled. "What did I tell you about betting against Shika?"

"Uh...that he'll only bet when he's one-hundred percent sure of himself cause it would be 'a drag' to loose money."

Ino nodded but said, "And...?"

"And he's smarter than me..." Choji muttered with a sigh.

"Oooh, Ino-pig, let's go in here!" Sakura suddenly said, dragging Ino and everyone else into the store.

Tenten sighed as the two ogled everything in sight. She and Hinata retreated to the corner, as they knew that none of their teammates would appreciate anything from a makeup store. While impassively looking over the lipsticks, Tenten got the strangest thought.

"_I thought you would appreciate the luscious apple shade of lipstick, Neji."_

"_Oh Tenten, this is a wonderful shade, you know me so well..." Neji would say as he applied the blood red shade._

"_Tenten! I love this youthful shade of bubblegum pink. My lips will burn brighter than all the rest, Gai-sensei will appreciate such youthfulness!"_

_Neji smacked his lips in disdain, "No Lee, you've got it all wrong. That shade looks dreadful on you."_

_Then Tenten pouted and said, "But I've brought this wonderful eye-shadow to match it."_

"_Hip-Hip-Hurray Tenten! Hip-Hip-Hurray!"_

After Tenten's little day dream was over, she dissolved in a fit of giggled beside Hinata who was confused as to how the shade of peachy lip-gloss she was holding could be so amusing.

"Ne Hinata, would this be a good shade on your cousin?" Tenten held up a red lipstick and then lapsed into another fit of giggles.

"E-Eh?" Hinata looked shocked. "Ano...Tenten are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Hinata...juuuuust fine." Tenten continued to giggle into her hand.

"Choji, try this shade on for me!" Tenten and Hinata heard Ino shout from across the store. They turned to look at the cowering over-exited Ino and a cowering Choji.

"No Ino, I refuse!"

"Um...Ino...w-why don't y-you just try it on y-yourself?" Hinata asked, trying to calmly resolve the situation.

"Why because, dear Hinata, I already have makeup on! And me and Choji are the same skin tone, see?" Ino forced Choji's arms out and put it next to hers. "Soooo, I can see if the shade will look good on me." Ino nodded as if she was making logical sense.

"Why don't you just reapply the makeup later?" Sakura commented, half-heartedly trying to get Choji out of the situation as she tried on some blush.

But for some reason, Ino took sick pleasure in torturing her teammates so she continued forcing lipstick on him while ignoring the kunoichi around her.

What turned into him being forced to wear only lipstick turned into a full-face makeup job with Ino quietly giggling to herself. Sakura and Tenten wondered why Choji didn't just stop her or something, but they didn't experience how abusive and scary of a teammate Ino could be sometimes.

Finally Choji got fed up and fled the place while Ino's back was turned. He was in such a hurry he forgot to wipe the makeup off his face.

-:- -:- -:-

"Was that Choji...?" Kiba asked as he watched the chubby shinobi run for his life after exiting a store ahead of them.

"Hey Choji! Wait up!" Naruto yelled as he jogged towards him.

"Dude..." Kiba said as Choji turned in their direction. "Didn't know you liked doing that kinda stuff..."

"I don't!" Choji protested, making mad swipes at his face, causing the makeup to smudge. "Ino attacked me."

"Why didn't you just tell her to go away?" Naruto questioned.

Shikamaru shook his head, "That won't work. Ino is scary."

"She isn't threatening at all." Sasuke deadpanned.

The Uchiha was thoroughly ignored.

Five minutes later the five boys found themselves in a bathroom with Choji trying to scrub all the gunk off his face. They could not understand for the life of them why the stuff was so hard to get off.

Finally, they'd managed to get the crap off his face. Choji's face was red and splotchy from all the violent scrubbing.

"So what were you doing with Ino?" Shikamaru drawled.

"Remember how I lost that bet?"

Shikamaru nodded.

"Well, I was doing my part and She saw me and forced me to come shopping with her. Then she wanted me to try on shades of lip gloss for her!"

Kiba and Naruto began to laugh while Shikamaru just gave his teammate a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"So what were you guys doing?" Choji asked as they walked out of the bathroom.

"Shopping!" Naruto answered cheerfully.

Choji seemed to cringe at the word but decided that he was better off with the guys than anyone else.

"Now," Naruto began with a determined grin, "What to get Sakura...?"

-:- -:- -:-

Hinata and Tenten were very displeased. And very uncomfortable.

How they had ended up in a lingerie store, they did not know. The only thing they knew was that they wanted out.

Especially when Tenten started day-dreaming about her presents to Neji and Lee again. That was not a pretty sight and she figured that she needed to get some help with the state of her mental health.

Sakura and Ino were looking to get something to please their, 'Sasuke-kun' which was really creepy if you thought about it. They were shopping together, for lingerie, to please the exact same person. Who even shops for lingerie together? Tenten just thought it was weird.

The good thing was that they were too preoccupied to bother the two other kunoichi. The only comments they made were to Hinata and it was something about how she didn't need a bombshell bra or something along the lines of asking what her bra size actually was.

Hinata of course, was mortified and Tenten suspected that she was a bit creeped out as well.

Later, they were kicked out of the store because Ino and Sakura had started arguing over who's chest was bigger.

And then they all ended up in a department store.

Tenten deemed it suitable for finding something for her teammates. She and Hinata searched diligently for presents for their friends and teammates.

Right when they were halfway through purchasing their items(Hinata and Tenten were fast shoppers) they heard a yell that was definitely from one of the terrible-two. They exchanged a look and went to search for Ino and Sakura.

"I had it first!"

"No you didn't you blond bimbo!"

At least it wasn't Ino and Sakura fighting.

It was more like Ino and a very pregnant Kurenai...

"Take that back!" Ino shouted as she tried to snatch the fabric in Kurenai's hands. "It's not like you could fit it anyway!"

Kurenai snarled at her.

Everyone else was more or less surprised at Kurenai's behavior. But Hinata had helped the pregnant jounin around her house everyday and was used to Kurenai's...um violent outbursts. Hinata was more worried for Ino than the kunoichi with a swollen belly.

"K-Kurenai-sensei!" Hinata rushed to her teacher's side. "You n-need to calm down..."

"No! I want that shirt!"

"E-eto...you c-can't fit it..."

"I'm gonna give it to my cousin! Gah let go!" Kurenai gave a strong pull.

"No!" Ino yelled and gave a strong yank, at that point Kurenai got irritated by the blond's antics and let go as Ino continued to pull.

The force of Ino's pull an the sudden release of the fabric caused Ino to fly out of the store.(They were close to the door anyway.)

"Ow..." Ino rubbed her head as she had fallen on the hard concrete outside.

-:- -:- -:-

"Was that Ino?" Kiba asked as he saw a purple and pale yellow blur fly out of a store and hit the ground.

Shikamaru and Choji exchanged a look as they jogged up to their fallen partner. Choji looked down with wide eyes, "Uh, Ino...? Are you okay?"

"Do I look like I'm okay?"

"Now that you mention it...yeah."

Ino was suddenly on her feet and was about to attack Choji when Shikamaru grabbed her shoulder and restrained her.

"Calm down...this is so bothersome."

"She was fighting with Kurenai over a shirt and Kurenai let go so Ino went flying." Tenten supplied helpfully as she organized the bags of gifts on her arms.

"Nice going Kurenai-sensei!" Kiba yelled before getting punched by a very annoyed Ino.

"Naruto!" Yelled Sakura suddenly, "Stop looking in my bags!"

Shopping seemed to have been forgotten as the group walked away from the stores and towards a park.

Shiny white clusters dropped from the sky and melted upon contacts.

"Oooh! It's snowing." Naruto cheered as he stood on top of a park bench.

"No shit, baka." Sasuke commented lowly, he shook snow out of his hair.

"You don't have to be so mean, teme..." Naruto dropped down from the bench and into the hard snow on the ground. He reached down and brought back a hand full of the cold stuff. "Now you must pay, believe it!"

Sasuke sweat-dropped as he dodge a snowball, it flew past him and hit Kiba instead.

"Who threw that?" He yelled as he dove for some snow.

Tenten sweat-dropped because she knew that this would turn into some type of battle. She hid her bags in the safest place and readied herself for another headache.

And she thought shopping was bad.

_o Avoid rabid shopping kunoichi at all times o_

**A/N: I'm not too sure I like this chapter. I've been going through a MAJOR block and I really want to post a new chapter.**

**I'm sorry for the wait ^_^ Sasori already scolded me...(stupid Akatsuki showing up in my disclaimers...)**

**Anyway, I'll try to have the next chapter up soon anddd I forgot that I had Kurenai drinking in earlier chapters but just now said that she was very pregnant. Oops~ (*whispers* just ignore it...)**

**REVIEW OR KURENAI WILL SCAR YOU FOR LIFE WITH HER PREGNANT HORMONAL RAGE!**


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